Dreams

I realize that this may not be entirely normal but I often have dreams about one of my cousins. She is happily married, has children and we have never been intimate in real life but dreams apparently don't care about reality. There were a couple of incidents when we were very young involving her in which I discovered my own perverted tendencies and where I was tempted to carry things further than they went but restraint won out. In these dreams, however, this is less true.

She and I are similar in build in that we are not really tall. I know we would make a good fit physically, lol. Our age has brought us both to a place where we have lost some of the vitality of youth but in my dreams this only adds to our enjoyment as we have the experience and knowledge that youth lacks and only tries to make up for through excess energy. These dreams are frighteningly realistic and at times I even find myself waking from them having a sense of wonder whether there is something to them in reality. She and I have always teased each other relentlessly with verbal jabs and even had tickle fights as children when wrestling around. The latter I think was us exploring each other playfully and learning our boundaries, but the former continues and sometimes it seems a form of flirting almost.

I love our relationship as it is but in these very realistic dreams she and I are secretly and passionately in love. We are cheating on her husband, by meeting up in hotels occasionally and having long hot sessions where we never leave the room for days. I dream that we both want to be together but know that we cannot as it would never be accepted by others as we are 1st cousins and in spite of our love she still cares for her husband and neither of us wants to hurt him. (As if this cuckolding isn't bad enough)

I doubt I could ever even consider this in real life if it were an option. I cannot imagine sharing a woman I loved but in the dream I don't mind as long as I can have our time together too. If my cousin were to come to me and offer herself as a lover I seriously might consider it though! lol

I'm pretty sure her husband would kill me if he found out it happened though!

I have these dreams several times a year, they are so real I awake wishing to stay in them, at the same time they worry me as they feed my imagination in ways that are a bit disturbing. There is a very self destructive element to them in that discovery of such an affair would be as if a bomb went off in our families and it would be doubtful that a relationship could survive that, so what would be the point?

Dreams are such a fascinating part of our psyche that I doubt we will ever have a clue. I'm glad we get a chance to explore our darker sides on occasion through them but do they have to be so real and so disturbing?