Vivian: Life in Estonia Chapter 08

When Eino Tarvas was delivering his surprising and somewhat laconic wedding proposal, it so happened that Vivian was in the process of sipping on her coffee liqueur. As soon as it registered in her mind as to what he was saying, she choked on her drink. Her reaction was so severe that droplets of her half-swallowed sip came shooting out of her nostrils. After clearing her nose and regaining her decorum, Vivian replied, "But Eino, aren’t we virtually strangers to each over? Neither of us knew of each other’s existence before three days ago.”

Eino wistfully replied, "Quite so. We were introduced about three o'clock in the afternoon two days ago at the Läänemets' residence. And seeing as it's getting on to be ten o'clock, by my mathematical count we have known of each other for about fifty-five hours. I think that's a long enough time that we need not consider ourselves as complete strangers."

Vivian was exasperated by such a cavalier answer. It tended to make her think he was not being serious and was trying a prank on her. For what reason she could not fathom, especially considering how much they were enjoying each other's company, not to mention the hot sex they had experienced. She retorted, "I'm not of a mind to debate the precise meaning of the word 'strangers', but surely you would concede that less than three full days of 'acquaintanceship'* (*air quote gesture by Vivian) is not long enough to determine whether one would or even should contemplate matrimony. I mean we really don’t know each other's character, habits, and a million other things we ought to know before we could come to a reasonable conclusion that we ought to marry."

Eino answered, "Thoroughly knowing each other's character is not a requirement to contemplate marriage nor is it a guarantee that a marriage will be successful. In fact, I would go so far as to say it might be detrimental to know too much about the character of one's intended as such knowledge might ruin the marriage from the get go. I suggest the less you know about the character of your intended the better off you are and the better your chances to have a successful marriage."

Vivian gasped, "You can't be serious! You can't truly believe that!"

Eino replied, "Oh yes I do! In fact, have you ever read the English novel 'Pride and Prejudice' by Jane Austen?"

Vivian was developing a sense of déjà vu. She recalled that her friend Angela Peterson quoted the same exact novel to justify her rash decision to marry after a very brief acquaintanceship with her eventual husband. At least Angela knew her fiancé six weeks before accepting his marriage proposal, which was a lot more than three days. All she could answer was, "Why yes I have, actually read it several times; it is one of my favorite novels."

"For me too. I first read it in school in the Estonian translation. I enjoyed the novel so much that I've reread it in the original English."

"You understand English?"

"Yes, every student in Estonian schools is taught English as the primary foreign language to learn. Russian is taught as a secondary language as it's considered another useful language to be familiar with, and the more ambitious student can also study German in our public schools."

Vivian replied, "Well I am good at three languages, English, German and of course Estonian, but I have no knowledge of Russian."

Eino continued, "Neither do I or German either. And I admit I had to consult my Estonian version whenever I stumbled at the meaning of a particular word. As the novel was written more than two hundred years ago, language has been naturally evolving. One particular example was the word 'intelligence' which modern usage means mental acuity or perhaps secretive news about an enemy's movements. But in the text of 'Pride and Prejudice' it means gossip even rumor, or just simply news."

Sensing that their discussion was getting sidetracked, Vivian sought to reel it in and said, "That's all fine and interesting to be sure, but what's all that got to with our conversation? You will recall you just proposed marriage to me, and I protested that we are virtually strangers not knowing much about each other's character."

Eino continued, "Well in the novel, the character, Charlotte Lucas, says to her friend Elizabeth, the heroine, in essence that success in marriage is a matter of chance and is not dependent on how well you know the person you may wish to marry. Even were you to spend a full year observing the character of your fiancé it will not matter since the circumstances and reality of marriage will change the character of the person you thought you knew. Charlotte concludes that's its best to know as little possible of the defects of your intended if you wish to achieve any happiness in your marriage."

Vivian smiled as she realized Eino was referring to the same passage in the novel which Angela had alluded to when she explained her short courtship. Vivian decided to try a different tactic in rebutting the rash marriage proposal. She said, "I now understand why you're quoting 'Pride and Prejudice' as it apparently gives you quaint rationale for your sudden proposal of marriage. Now I daresay that Charlotte's opinion might have been valid in her day, but times have obviously changed including how society in general views marriage. For one thing, in those days a bride is expected to be a virgin on her wedding night. Nowadays, unless a woman is devoutly religious and adheres to her faith's moral code, if she is a virgin on her wedding most people would think, and rightly so, that there's something wrong with her, possibly with the groom, as well. I daresay divorce is much more frequent and not as scandalous nowadays. So, to my way of thinking, it is very important you know as much as possible of the person you want to marry if you wish to avoid divorce."

Eino countered, "While that’s true, I still suggest that Charlotte’s advice is even more valid today. You see during courtship each person is constantly trying to impress the other and disguise their defects. Thus, it's only after you are married and live together do you discover your spouse's true nature. And when you discover the warts in your spouse's character why the prevailing thought running through your mind is, 'That's not the man, or woman as the case may be, who I thought I married.’ And divorce is the second thought that runs through your mind.

"Take the habit of smoking. Say your intended is a smoker and you're not. During courtship you are aware he smokes, but lots of people smoke. So, in your mind you say you can live with that especially since he does not appear to be a heavy smoker. Of course, you don't take into account that you're merely dating, and during all the time you're in each other's presence it's not in an everyday mundane setting. So, once you're married and live together, you discover he smokes more frequently than you had expected. You find you can't abide the sight of dirty cigarette ashtrays, and you gag at the smell of his clothes. Soon your marriage goes down the toilet."

Vivian opined, "But in today’s society living together before officially getting married is commonplace and certainly not frowned upon. Thus, had this hypothetical couple lived together, she would have discovered his ugly habit which she found that she couldn't tolerate, and thus avoid going down the aisle."

Eino took a long sip of his drink before replying, "I don't have any statistics, but I have the impression that the divorce rates for couples who lived together before tying the knot as opposed to couples who started living together only after wedding vows were exchanged would probably be somewhat similar. Living together without being married makes dissolving the relationship so much easier and lessens the commitment to staying together. Without real commitment you are not prepared to accept compromises necessary to make a marriage work. So, living together before actually getting married is no guarantee you will have a happy or lasting marriage.”

"I believe my imagined example offers a really proof positive evidence of the validity of Charlotte's assertion. If you knew beforehand whether your intended was a smoker or not it would not matter depending on your commitment. If you are truly committed to make your marriage work, you will find a compromise to accommodate your partner's shortcomings. If you're not so committed, you'll just use that as an excuse to justly in getting out of the marriage.

"So as Charlotte said you're better off not knowing anything of your partner's faults until after you're actually married. In such case you will be in a better frame of mind to negotiate a mutually satisfactory accommodation. In our imagined circumstance if you couldn't stand your spouse's smoking habits the two of you could come to some satisfactory compromises such as no smoking in the house or in the family car. Brushing one's teeth and using mouth wash prior to intimacy can be another concession from the smoker."

Vivian was intrigued by the case Eino was making but was having some difficulty in comprehending how genuine he was in making a serious offer of marriage. She was also cognizant that she hadn't as yet come back with an instant outright refusal to what objectively was an outrageous proposal. She responded somewhat jocularly, "Since you used the 'Pride and Prejudice' example I think I'll answer as Elizabeth did in declaring that your reasoning is not sound, and you know it's so. You never would act that way yourself."

Then immediately recalling the circumstances of the referenced novel, and the fact that Eino had just made a marriage proposal based on an extremely short acquaintanceship, she broke down in hearty, but probably nervous laughter. With mirthful tears flowing from her eyes, Vivian continued, "But I guess Elizabeth was wrong in her assessment, since Charlotte did subsequently marry even knowing her husband to be, was a pompous ass. And according to the text they had a satisfactory marriage as recognized by the society of those days, and she even became pregnant. As for you, as I reiterate, you virtually know nothing of me. Yet you make what seems like a serious proposal.”

Eino retorted, "Of course I'm serious and my proposal is not a joke. Speaking of jokes, I recall one that might be apropos to our discussion. What is the difference between a married man and a single man?"

Vivian was discombobulated by this sudden topic change, so that all she could say is, "OK I'll bite. What?"

"A single man goes through life without ever knowing what's wrong with him."

Vivian laughed heartily fully comprehending the import of the joke. She replied, "I gather since you have been married that you're aware of all of your shortcomings?"

Eino replied, "Of course that goes without saying. It's also why this joke can’t be truly understood by single men, even I daresay men who have lived with a woman without being married. My marriage to Dagi was a real commitment respecting the traditional marriage vows of faithfulness whether rich or poor, in sickness or in health until death do us part.

"Looking back on it, I experienced an unhappy marriage but that was solely due to Dagi's long lingering illness culminating in her death. She was not good in bed, but then how could she be? Considering the constant pain she felt throughout our marriage, the desire for sex was understandably just not there. In fact, shortly after our son was born, and Dagi was diagnosed of her terminal illness, she became basically bedridden till her death. The only physically task she could perform was breast feeding our son. The only marital sex we had then was my eating her out while she was breast feeding.

"Actually, such oral sex was the greatest sexual experience in our marriage. I could sense and see that Dagi took real sexual pleasure from my efforts, as I believe she enjoyed exquisite orgasms as a result. It easily was the only truly happy moments she experienced while enduring the end days of her brief life. I was devastated by her death even though it was not unexpected. I was gratified that I was able to provide some comfort for my late wife, and I'm blessed with a son from our union, who I trust will become a worthwhile citizen of the world."

Vivian was impressed by Eino's words as they displayed a most loyal and caring characteristic trait which she could never respect enough. It also made her realize that his marriage proposal was not a caviler example of whimsy but a result of consideration of a real desire. So, she carefully responded, "Then what you're saying as I understand it, is that all that is needed to make a viable long lasting marriage is a genuine unshakable commitment by both parties to stay married no matter what?"

Eino replied, "No, I'm not that naïve. I believe there are two real deal breakers that would sabotage sustaining a worthwhile marriage no matter the commitment. One is cruelty inflicted by one spouse to the other whether physical or physiological. Albeit physiological abusive cruelty is probably impossible to define objectively on an individual basis. Suffice it to say it surely must be evident on reviewing the circumstances applicable to every allegation of cruelty in the marriage.”

Vivian laughed as she interrupted, "You're probably not aware of this Eino, but the Supreme Court of the United States had to grapple with the precise definition of hard-core pornography way back in the 1960's. At that time movie producers were pushing the envelope of how graphic sexual scenes could be shown, but still not violate the standards of artistic merit which community standards could tolerate, being a given that hard-core pornography could not be accepted. The Justice who rendered the majority discussion opined that perhaps he could never succeed in intelligibly define hard-core pornography but claimed 'I know it when I see it'. I guess that similar test can apply to what is physiological cruelty."

Eino responded, "Quite so and the nature of such a flippant opinion does not lessen the validity of the end of a marriage where the aggrieved spouse genuinely asserts the claim of cruelty. Anyway, the other real deal breaker to a successful marriage is marital infidelity, adultery being the obvious example of such failure. However, marital infidelity means more than just adultery. To be truly faithful, means each spouse has each other's back, and that is the true definition of marital fidelity."

At this point Vivian gasped at which to her mind was the obvious implications of Eino's words. She asked, "Oh my god Eino! If you put so much stock on the importance of fidelity in a marriage, how the hell could you be confident of my fidelity should we marry? My main protest to your marriage proposal is the undeniable fact that we know so little of each other's character, considering our very brief acquaintanceship. However, what you do know about me is that I'm very promiscuous in sex. I have had had lots of different sexual partners, and not just men either, as I've indulged in some girl-on-girl sex as well. If I were asked to make up a list of all my sexual partners, I probably couldn't succeed in compiling a fully accurate complete list, since I'm pretty sure I would fail to recollect some of my sex partners, Again, given the facts of my past sexual history, wouldn't you be afraid that I would stray from the marriage vows of fidelity?"

Eino now responded rather animatedly, as he could sense he was winning the battle in Vivian's mind to advance his marriage proposal into the realm of serious consideration. The fact she had not yet pronounced an unequivocal refusal had the effect to emboldening his desires. So, he replied, "Your past sexual history is just that, your past sexual history. It is not a true predictor for future fidelity concerns. All that can be deduced from your past sexual history is that you are a woman who likes sex with enthusiasm. Which by the way is a trait I admire greatly, especially considering my time with my beloved wife Dagi, who sadly could not enjoy sex. If anything, your past sexual history suggests a strong indication that you would be faithful. Besides it supports Charlotte's conviction in 'Pride and Prejudice'."

Vivian was even more astonished by this reply. She answered, "Good grief, Eino! What is there in my past sexual history that you know about, which would confirm that I would be a strong candidate to adhere to the marriage vow of fidelity?"

Feeling that he was making headway in his quest to convince Vivian to marry him, Eino calmly replied, "I get the impression that there have only been two men in your life of whom you really had a serious love relationship with. In either case, not even requiring an unequivocal assertion on your part that you were faithful to both of them, there is irrefutable objective evidence affirming such fidelity."

"Oh really? All right Sherlock, what are the irrefutable clues that suggests that I did not cheat on my two serious lovers?"

"Well in the case of your first lover, the wealthy billionaire, you had an ongoing relationship lasting almost three years. You ended it, once you learned he was incapable of fathering a child because he had previously undergone a vasectomy. Getting pregnant by him was your sole bottom line desired outcome which induced you to remain in this relationship which you otherwise deemed could not last indefinitely. Thus, such a fervent desire to get pregnant by him, could only mean he had of have been your sole lover during your entire relationship. You wouldn't want to be unsure of the identity of the sire of your pregnancy, as such would defeat the purpose of your desires. Theoretically, I suppose had you cheated, you might have demanded the use of a condom or restrict your sexual activity to oral sex or to sodomy, in order to preserve the possibility of getting pregnant solely by the billionaire. But I would think that would be too cynical to contemplate as an actual occurrence."

Vivian smiled at this, since actually, she did attend two orgies at the TLR during her time with Jed Baxter, and she wore a diaphragm on each occasion. Mind you, Jed attended these orgies with her, so it wasn't like she was truly cheating on him, and this, in Vivian's view did not negate the main point Eino was making. She, then replied, "I see your reasoning, and I suppose objectively because my marriage was of such short duration, one must conclude there was in reality no time available when I could have unfaithful to my husband."

Eino replied, "On the contrary, the experience of your marriage provides even a stronger case to support the supposition that you will be faithful to your wedding vows."

Vivian protested, "How can you even say that? In reality my marriage only lasted for two hours before he was carted off to jail. My marriage wasn't even consummated."

"Well not to quibble, but your marriage did not officially end until your husband was murdered in prison four days after your wedding ceremony. But during the interval you displayed absolute fidelity of your commitment to your marriage. As you say there was no time to consummate your marriage but still you do have a daughter by him. Obviously then, you did have sex with him prior to your nuptials, and it can be safely assumed you did not cheat on him during the time of your courtship. However, as I already have said that in my view, fidelity in marriage means more than just merely refraining from committing adultery, and you demonstrated your fidelity unequivocally, and which I might add without any hesitation. And at the same time, you affirmed, inadvertently I'm sure, of Charlotte's astuteness in expressing her opinion in regard to happiness in marriage."

Vivian was very intrigued by that last assertion, as she could not possibly foresee how he could justify it. She could not help interrupting, "Oh really? How can you possibly come to such a conclusion?"

Eino replied, "Well applying Charlotte's prescription of success and happiness in marriage, you did not know beforehand that he was a rogue and a scoundrel who had embezzled millions of dollars from the coffers of his employer. Had you known you might not have married him. Still as you became aware of his criminality upon his arrest, you immediately came to his aid utilizing your skill and knowledge as an attorney to provide real tangible legal advice plus emotional support for his plight."

Up to this point in time, Vivian had not delved unduly into the incident that led to the end of her marriage, nor did she second guess herself of her actions. She just had assumed she had acted naturally. She scoffed and retorted, "Ha! Any woman in my situation would have done the same."

Eino wryly answered, "I venture to say that there have not been too many similar occurrences which would allow for an accurate survey to be conducted to gauge the most likely action the average woman would take in such a situation you found yourself. Suffice it to say you were aware of the risk you were taking by representing your husband legally as your law firm was the legal representative of the man and his company your husband embezzled."

Vivian defensively replied, "I thought my firm would have tolerated my giving legal advice to my husband and maybe even allow me to represent him. After all I did marry him."

"But you were not shocked nor surprised that you were summarily fired?"

"Yes, that's true, I was not surprised. I knew that was the risk I was taking."

"Quite so! As I said, you demonstrated that you would be faithful to your marriage vows. The proof in the pudding occurred when the test of fidelity was sorely thrust on you, and you passed the test with flying colors."

There was a significant pause as Vivian was pondering the details of their conversation. As she was deliberating, it became obvious to both of them, that the elephant in the room of their discussion had not been addressed. She had as of yet not clearly indicated whether or not she would seriously entertain the possibility of marriage. She finally answered, "I would concede your point that you should have nothing to worry about as to the question of fidelity. I know or at least I believe I would be faithful. Notwithstanding, the resolution of such as possible nagging issue, the fact remains that we know so little about each other, as our entire physical time together has been less than three full days. Even were I to agree with the opinion uttered by Charlotte in 'Pride and Prejudice' it still begs the question of how can you, as you averred in your marriage proposal, be so certain that we would be happy were we to marry?"

Eino broke out in a huge smile, as he recognized that he had cleared a major hurdle in his marriage proposal. He had obviously succeeded in motivating Vivian to seriously consider his proposal as opposed to dismissing it instantly out of hand. He thoughtfully replied, "There are no guarantees in life except for death and taxes. However, everything I do know about you, combined with my own inclinations would suggest we have as good a chance at happiness in marriage as anyone. First of all, I love you. As soon as I set eyes on you a mere fifty-five hours ago, I sensed I was smitten with your beauty."

At this point Vivian was starting to protest decrying her pulchritude, but Eino stopped her in her tracks by saying, "It is absolutely immaterial what others may think of your physical beauty. If I think, and I do, that you are the most beautiful woman in the world, then in truth by definition you are the most beautiful woman in the world."

These sentiments expressed by Eino struck a sensitive chord for Vivian as it was the most positive accolades, she had truly ever received concerning her sexual allure. Dispassionately, she was aware that she was not the most beautiful woman in the world; hell, her sister Erica was considered the beauty in her family. She knew she wasn't physically repulsive, but because she was perceived to be a slut and a whore, none of her lovers ever considered her to be especially attractive. It was clear to her that most of them just thought of her as a woman not objectionable to fuck, i.e. not a two bag lady.

Jed Baxter, her billionaire lover, did aver that he was attracted to her female beauty, but during their entire affair, she had the impression it was the pleasant manner of their convivial relationship that really kept them together. She was always leery that a more attractive female would arrive upon the scene which would end their affair. As for Sam Crawford, her late husband, his true attraction for her was her intellect. Although he had protested that he found her very attractive, still she got the impression that her physical appearance was of a lesser concern in his mind. She believed that had she been objectively less attractive, perhaps only slightly better than the two bag lady perception, he would have still been interested in marrying her. In any case neither of those two lovers declared her to be truly beautiful like Eino unequivocally just did.

Consequently, she couldn't help interrupting his colloquy by saying, "Oh Eino, thank you so much! You utter such beautiful words. I'm truly flattered, especially as I trust your sincerity."

Eino was startled by her interjection since it betrayed a slight lack of confidence on her part of her own sexual allure, which was incomprehensible in his viewpoint. However, that notion in turn encouraged him to believe success in getting her to agree to his marriage proposal was now realistically attainable. So, he persevered, "Of course as the cliché goes beauty is only skin deep. What I truly could sense on first spotting you, was that you exuded an aura of a truly spectacular woman. So spectacular in fact, that I formed the instant opinion that I must be and was in love with you to think that.

"I had first thought that by analogy, that had the mythical love god Cupid actually existed, then I must have been pierced by one of his love arrows to form such an inexplicable instant attraction to you. However, I soon saw that such perceived analogy immediately breaks down in reality because it presupposes that I would not love you were it not for Cupid's arrow striking my heart. Instead, the more I got to know you, the more factual evidence of my attraction towards you piled on to verify that my immediate attraction was for real. So, whether or not my instant attraction for you might have been attributed to some supernatural influences, it mattered not as my love for you grew stronger."

Vivian was naturally further flattered by Eino's exotic description of the intensity of his love for her. She sighed and gushed, "Oh my! Oh my! My sweet Eino! You're becoming so poetic! Tell me more."

Emboldened by Vivian's clear encouragement, Eino continued, "From my own viewpoint, my love for you can only mean that being married to you is akin to living in heaven while on earth. Now, I confess I can't determine the degree of affection you feel towards me, but if our intimate moments are any guide, I would say you have no difficulty in accepting my love and sharing your charms with me."

At this point Vivian was struck by his choice of such lyrical language. It had the effect in her mind of transforming his initial blunt, off the cuff, marriage proposal into a poem of an irresistible romance. She could sense her panties moistening as she realized she was surrendering to his truly spellbinding seduction. However, her sensible subconscious mind interceded with a warning to be careful. She sighed and replied, "Oh Eino baby those are such beautiful sentiments you've expressed! But you said we could be happy married to each other. But how can, you be sure? Mutual love is not sufficient. Nor is great sex for that matter. There must be something more tangible in place to ensure happiness for a successful marriage."

Now Eino Tarvas was grinning as he could sense that he had for all intents and purposes practically clinched the deal. He replied, "Oh yes! We must be practical to be sure. I'm a dairy farmer and you're a lawyer which at first blush seems incompatible. However, you did grow up on a dairy farm, so you are very knowledgeable and as demonstrated by our activity today, you have kept up to date your knowledge of dairy farming. I can't be grateful enough for your input today on the purchases of the cows and the milking machines. In marrying me, you just won't become a mere farmer's wife, but instead you'll be an equal partner in managing and operating what I envision would become the most prominent dairy farm in all of Estonia. Hell, why limit there and instead be regarded as the best farm in Europe? Hell, why stop even there? Why not in all of the world?"

Vivian giggled and clapped her hands, upon hearing Eino's grandiose enunciated scheme. She practically chanted, "You go Eino baby! Tell me more!"

Eino continued, "I know Vivian, that you have a very active mind, and you need to be challenged. I would suggest in implementing the expansion of my farm is as challenging as it gets. On the other hand, what are your plans when you return to the United States? You haven't practiced law in over a year. I'm aware that Chicago is a huge city in the United States, but I suspect that the legal community there is nonetheless, relatively narrow and confining. I imagine being fired from the top law firm in the city makes it difficult for you to hire on to another large law firm."

Vivian commented, "Yes I agree it would be difficult for me to find a position with another law firm in Chicago, but not impossible. Besides I have the wherewithal to open up my own law office. For that matter I could study and pass bar exams in other states, so I'm not confined just to the state of Illinois. That's one of the reasons for my vacation is to weigh all my options."

Eino then said, "Obviously there are challenges awaiting you upon your return to America. However, what I'm getting at is that the initial challenges you face, I daresay would be mundane and tedious especially in starting your own practice from scratch. I get a sense that the kind of challenge you relish would be participating in a scintillating criminal trial that would capture the attention of the nation and even internationally. Your husband's trial would have been such an example. However, to get to such a legal level requires you to attain a high profile reputation which whether you're on your own or employed by a prominent firm would take years to establish."

Vivian sniffed, "You're implying then, that I'm not up to the challenges that await me when I return to Chicago?"

Eino answered, "Oh no! I'm not saying that at all. I know you are capable of overcoming any and all the obstacles and challenges you would face. What I'm saying, though, is that we have only one life to live, and our allotted time on this earth is limited. So, if you marry me now, you will face an already challenging life which is as rewarding in satisfaction as the challenges you would face in the future in your law career."

Vivian offered a non committal reply, "That's a very interesting and intriguing picture you paint. I can't say that you're totally wrong in your assessment."

Not letting the thought linger longer in her mind, Eino continued, "I imagine the biggest hurdle for you in contemplating marrying me is the fact that it necessitates you leaving your homeland and take up residence in a foreign land. But I daresay Estonia is not so foreign for you. You speak our language, and I suspect you think in Estonian as well."

Vivian answered, "Yes I do. When I speak Estonian, I think in Estonian. Likewise, I think in German when I speak it, and of course I normally think in English as it is my primary language."

Eino replied, "Naturally. My point, though, is that you can adapt to an Estonian lifestyle easily without too much effort. Finally, I have to point out that you have advanced me a huge sum of money without any solicitation on my part, to expand my farm. And I have to use the word 'advance' since you have not breathed a word about repayment. Now who does that? I don't care how rich you may be, but I still can't believe you routinely release your monies in such a cavalier fashion as you favored me.

"What compelled you to do so? I suspect even you, don't truly know the answer to that. I like to attribute mystical supernatural amatory forces are in play. These forces are telling us we are meant to be together. Perhaps the love god Cupid does exist, but in a different dimension. Maybe his arrows have penetrated our dimension and pierced our mutual hearts."

Vivian was momentarily stunned by Eino's vivid imagery. However, having gathered her thoughts, she replied, "You sure have some imagination, Eino darling, but I must say I like your approach. I'm now absolutely convinced that your marriage proposal is genuine and serious. I also must say that you have presented a good case in advancing your proposal such that I must consider it solemnly. I do need some time to fully unpack your offer of marriage and its implications to me. However, given our circumstances I do not have the luxury to ponder unduly so that I intend to give you an answer fairly shortly. In the meantime, since I see by the clock, that it's nearly ten o'clock and the restaurant wants us out of here, I suggest we go dancing like you promised for this date. For now, and for the time being, I don't want you to say another word. I just want to think as I'm in your arms."

Accordingly, they departed from the restaurant and repaired to a nearby disco dancing night club. Vivian smiled as she realized that her demand forbidding conversation was superfluous. The music was so loud that any dialogue was impossible in any case. First, they quickly downed a drink before entering the dance floor. Contrary to the stereotypical image of a farmer as an unsophisticated rube, Eino Tarvas proved to be completely at ease on the dance floor while expertly gyrating to the upbeat blaring music. If anything, it was Vivian who didn't seem to belong on the dance floor, despite her elegant evening gown, and her projection of a truly sexy alluring female. She was oblivious of her image, though, as she was solely concentrating on her emotions, her feelings and seemingly a million other things.

At first, she just simply gazed at Eino Tarvas as he was expertly going through the dance motions. She could not help smiling as he sure was a hunk of a man; probably everything how a man should look like, in her estimation. She had considered Jed Baxter, her billionaire lover, as possessing the quintessential perfect male physique, but there was no mistaking Jed in his appearance that he was nothing else but an urbanite. One could not picture him comfortable in an outdoors setting. Eino was certainly not as handsome as Jed, but he had a rugged look to him that automatically excited and triggered her carnality. One instinctively could sense that Eino would dominate his woman in lovemaking, and she knew that she loved being dominated by him. Strip away everything else, Vivian knew if she wasn't yet truly in love with him, she sure could easily arrive at that state promptly.

However, love and sexual attraction is not the exclusive concern that ought to be considered in contracting a marriage. In marrying him, she would have to leave the United States, her homeland to reside in a foreign country. Of course, lots of American woman have married foreigners and moved to a foreign land. But for her, Estonia is not so foreign; she knew the language after all. And as far as she could tell, during the days she had been here, she had concluded that Estonia was as western in values akin to that of the United States as any other country in Europe, United Kingdom included.

The real concern she had in weighing the pros and cons was the fact in marrying him she would be a dairy farmer's wife. As she grew up on a dairy farm in Wisconsin, she recalled her burning desire was to go to school and become a lawyer so she could move out and reside in Chicago. Although, she had no aversion to the hard work incidental to dairy farming, but she found the work tedious and not stimulating. At this point she realized most of that aversion to dairy farming rested on the simple fact that as a child she had no say in the running of the farm. Her brother, Paul, who was the obvious heir apparent, had much more responsibilities on the farm while they were growing up. During her visits to him and his family, it was obvious to her that he was in his element in managing the family farm now.

Vivian's lifelong vexation of her farm chores centered on the fact that for seven of her teenage years, she was compelled to hand milk four recalcitrant cows who refused to submit to a milking machine. Upon further reflection it dawned on her, that had she been in the loop of discerning the farm's overall needs, and thereby had volunteered to milk the cows, then her attitude would have been different. In such case she most likely wouldn't have deemed such a chore to be tedious. She believed Eino's assertion that as his wife, she would be an equal partner in managing and operating the dairy farm. And so, she could foresee the exciting challenges in store for her in helping him realize his dream of establishing the premier dairy farm in Estonia.

Then came another realization to her mind. She never had harbored a burning desire to become a lawyer. Her burning desire was to live in Chicago, and she chose law as the most agreeable career to pursue in order to fulfill her true ultimate goal. Now granted she did have a great aptitude for law as evidenced by her extremely high LSAT results and her great grades at the University of Chicago. It led her to find employment with Kirkland, Mayer & McDermott, one of the largest law firms in Chicago. She was happy in her job as she was hired to do criminal law defense work on a pro bono basis. In that capacity she had constantly very intriguing criminal cases to handle. Another plus was the fact that since all her work was on a pro bono basis, to fulfill the perceived firm's obligations to do some charity work, there was no pressure on her to produce lucrative billable hours. The drawback to that was, that she was not in any track to significantly advance in the hierarchy in the firm and eventually become a senior partner to earn the really big bucks.

She didn't mind at the time, as her liaison with Jed Baxter removed any of her money concerns in her day to day living. Likewise, when she switched her affections to Samuel Crawford, there seemed to be no real focus on her future. She had become pregnant, and so she saw herself as a possible stay at home mother, as Crawford certainly had a sufficiently high income as CFO of Baxter & Sons. But it all came down in a thunderous crash with Sam's arrest two hours after the exchange of her wedding vows, and his murder in prison four days subsequently.

Her future was definitely in a flux. Vivian was surprised at Eino's astuteness in assessing her law career options in returning to the United States. His insight confirmed to her that he was truly a man she could be proud of and revere. Since Sam's death she had plenty of time to weigh in all her options. She had like Eino concluded that employment with another law firm was not really in the cards and starting a law firm on her own would be dicey, and certainly tedious should she not acquire an adequate client base. As a result, Vivian thought her real viable law career option in the United States, was to teach law at an accredited law school. That would necessitate further graduate legal studies but of course she possessed the financial means to pursue this avenue. However, her mind rebelled as she subscribed to the cliché: "Those who can, do; those who can't, teach."

Finally, she bemusedly was willing to concede Eino's notion of a super love god in the picture insisting on their union. She certainly had to admit she could not understand her motive for advancing the monies to Eino.

At a break in the dancing, Vivian said, "Let's go to the hotel room. I believe I'll have an answer for you."