Pump the Dum Dum Up.
of
MM1302
genre
exibitionism
It is time for storytime with Bonzi and this time it is an even bigger doozie than it was previously as this one features an even more desperate attempt to dig up information on someone! Once upon a time in the online universe there lived the crumbling remains of a website called Kiwifarms, although now a certain magical ape had turned the residents who targeted his friend years ago into more fitting roles and converted it into a real farm where he was the farmer, a few remains of that pathetic website remained.
Although now its owner Joshua was nowhere to be seen because he was dealing with some severe legal issues and his beloved site was not being allowed to see the light of day on any server, the site was crumbling like the Roman empire without him and now only a few members still remained, one such member was Pneumatic Pump who thought digging up some shit about Nathan was a smart idea, unaware of how much of a dum dum he truly was.
While he was doing so…a purple cloud of smoke materialized in his apartment, through the smoke a purple gorilla emerged. ‘Ah, this must be one of the only members of Kiwifarms that is still alive and unchanged!’ ‘I know that voice, are you that purple ape OC that has been summoned to teach me a lesson?’ ‘An OC? An OC? Do you have any idea who I am? I am Bonzi, the lord and master of the internet! And you sir have made a stupid mistake by trying to dig up a rant made up by my friend Mr Belushi in Shades! Did you really honest to Arceus think that anyone would be interested in reading about something you dug up from the past? That was likely two years ago, you penis headed moron!’ ‘Who are you calling a moron, huh?’ ‘I am calling you the moron for doing such a stupid things, dum dum.’
‘Dum dum?’ ‘Oh yes, you are a dum dum, I know a dum dum were-aykroyd when I see one and you look like one to me.’ ‘I do not know what the hell you are on about.’ ‘Everyone is all gone except for you, only a true dum dum would stay around when everyone is all gone! I guess without a master, the almighty legion of hatred has no purpose!’ ‘It does so have a purpose.’ ‘It never had one to begin with and no without Joshua, it is all gone now. You only exist to be a reminder of why cringe culture and a-logging are not and never will be good things.’
‘I do not need Joshua and his lot to have a purpose.’ ‘Oh yes you do, like all dum dums need a master!’ ‘Well okay you have got me there. I am just a random member of the site who has no purpose other than to dig up the past and can you really blame us? Ever since CWC got arrested and sent to prison we have been desperate for new material, we are a site so desperate for lulz material we would willingly turn on each-other just to get a good story out of it.’ ‘So you admit to having no purpose at all? Good dum dum! Such a good dum dum you are, always willing to admit when you are wrong.’
‘I am not a dum dum!’ ‘Oh but why does your profile say so?’ Pump or ‘Pumpy’ as Bonzi called him looked at his computer screen and looked at his profile his profile picture had morphed from a picture of Austin Powers into a photo of a plus sized were-aykroyd wearing a bib that said ‘Dum Dum Master Hearts Me’ on it and eating a bowl of dum dum food. ‘What did you do to my profile?’ ‘What did you mean, what did I do you to your profile? My dear dum dum, you were always like this. You never joined this site for any reason other than to finish it off, I already converted half of it into a farm and now the remaining half of it shall be finished, by us and by you!’
His profile had also shifted, his username had changed to ‘BigDumDum1981’ and his personal info had also shifted as he tried to change it back but could not do it due to the computer not recognizing his email address and name. ‘The computer does not remember your old username, my dearest dum dum. In fact it only knows BigDumDum now and as such, you will not need your Kiwifarms account anymore!’ He panicked as his account deactivated all by itself, replacing itself with the new account he had gained. ‘Now I will have to beg the admins to get it back!’ ‘What admins? The ones that had left and now do not exist anymore? Because I saw no admins here when I visited last!’ ‘I will have my account back even if it kills me.’
‘But this is your new account now, and this crumbling empire is not your home anymore, dum dum. There are other places for you to live! And I know of a place perfect for silly dum dum were-aykroyds like you, but first, it is time to fix your form, this form of yours is not your real self!’ ‘What do you mean by this form of mine, is it not my real one?’ ‘Well you are a dum dum were-aykroyd who all this time has been pretending to be someone they are not. Face it, dum dum. You asked me to come here to help you!’
‘I do not remember asking you.’ ‘Oh but dearest dum dum, you did. You said, please oh great and powerful master of the internet, help me find my true self trapped in this charade!’ ‘Did I?’ ‘Yes, you did, you asked for me to help you and I will.’
Bonzi used his powers to alter Pumpy from the outside, Pumpy felt a strange wave of warmth creep all over his body as his arms slowly thickened and grew brown hairs on them. ‘My arms, what is happening to my arms, why are they mutating like this?’ ‘Why those are your real arms, silly! Dum dums have thick arms and big bodies, because dum dums are very tubby wubby and need wuv which is what you will get!’
His hands slowly swelled as his fingers thickened, his chest and torso puffing up and swelling with fat which spread all over the rest of his body as hair grew on both parts as his stomach gurgled, his stomach gurgled and swelled as it pushed against his shirt, causing the buttons to pop off. ‘Ooopsy! Dum dum is making the buttons pop right off his shirt, tee hee! Wait, did I just call myself dum dum?’ ‘Why yes you certainly did, and a good dum dum always grows and grows out of their puny human clothing, it is very good for them to do so!’
He could not help but rub his swelling and gurgling stomach as hair slowly grew on it, the buttons popping even more as his shirt grew tighter and tighter, revealing his fattening upperbody as it tore apart. ‘There we go, that is much better. Do not worry, dearest dum dumikins, you will get new clothing that fits you once we are done here!’
Strange thoughts entered his mind, thoughts of gorging and eating…thoughts of a master who loved him, he was getting confused as to what he was doing in a place with no dum dum were-aykroyds. ‘Why is dum dum in a place with no dum dum were-aykroyds? Dum dum is confused.’ ‘You clearly do not know that the place you need to belong is with me.’
He groaned as his shoes slowly burst open while his feet enlarged, his toes becoming webbed. As his stomach pushed against his belt, his belt slowly unbuckling as his stomach swelled even more and with a loud snap the belt burst open to reveal his larger belly. ‘Aaaaw look at how cute you are with your big soft body!’ ‘Dum dum is very cute, dum dum has lots of love to go around.’ ‘Of course he does, because dum dum loves his master.’ He rubbed his stomach as his rear inflated, pushing against his jeans which slowly ripped apart, fart after fart emitted from his fattening behind. He tried to run but he fell over as his legs fattened up, making him waddle in a comical way.
He slowly grew to six foot one in height as his back and shoulders broadened, his neck swelling and puffing up as his hair lengthened, turning darker and becoming messier. ‘Dum dum has such a nice hairstyle, dum dum will thank the master for this.’ ‘Of course you will, such a good dum dum!’ Bonzi rubbed the growing dum dum on his stomach and sighed with satisfaction as Pumpy watched his own forehead elevate as his eyebrows thickened, his eyes widened as one turned from brown to green.
His face plumped up while his nose broadened and developed a cleft in the middle as his features morphed to look Aykroydian and his voice shifted to match, sounding Aykroydian but also silly sounding as he started to realize he had not been born human at all but a dum dum were-aykroyd, yes he pretended to be human during the day but each night he would turn into his fat goofy true self and make cute dum dum noises.
He giggled as his transformation completed, feeling a lot happier. ‘This is better but dum dum is confused, where are we, master?’ ‘In a place that is not made for you, come my dear dum dum, it is time to take you home!’ Bonzi used his powers to transport Pumpy into his special clubhouse high up in the trees, once in the clubhouse he presented him with some presents and cuddled him and made him feel better.
‘This has always been your home, do not worry about that website you did not join in the first place, for I shall take care of your dum dum friends for you and end your sorrows!’ ‘You will do that for dum dum?’ ‘Yes I will.’ And so he used his magic to transport himself into the main domain of the remains of Kiwifarms and infected the only surviving members left, turning them into fat dum dum were-aykroyds who loved their master.
He then told all the dum dums to turn on Joshua Moon which they all did and infected him and it was not long until Kiwifarms collapsed entirely, the remaining half of the empire falling with it as everyone who had ever been picked on by the penis-headed morons on the site rejoiced, they could be themselves, and as for Pumpy, he was now who he really was, a good dum dum were-aykroyd who loved his master more than anything! And that was all he needed, and now Bonzi could live happily because his job had finished and everyone that bothered him was no more.
Remember, only dum dums dig up the past…are you a dum dum? I do not think so!
Although now its owner Joshua was nowhere to be seen because he was dealing with some severe legal issues and his beloved site was not being allowed to see the light of day on any server, the site was crumbling like the Roman empire without him and now only a few members still remained, one such member was Pneumatic Pump who thought digging up some shit about Nathan was a smart idea, unaware of how much of a dum dum he truly was.
While he was doing so…a purple cloud of smoke materialized in his apartment, through the smoke a purple gorilla emerged. ‘Ah, this must be one of the only members of Kiwifarms that is still alive and unchanged!’ ‘I know that voice, are you that purple ape OC that has been summoned to teach me a lesson?’ ‘An OC? An OC? Do you have any idea who I am? I am Bonzi, the lord and master of the internet! And you sir have made a stupid mistake by trying to dig up a rant made up by my friend Mr Belushi in Shades! Did you really honest to Arceus think that anyone would be interested in reading about something you dug up from the past? That was likely two years ago, you penis headed moron!’ ‘Who are you calling a moron, huh?’ ‘I am calling you the moron for doing such a stupid things, dum dum.’
‘Dum dum?’ ‘Oh yes, you are a dum dum, I know a dum dum were-aykroyd when I see one and you look like one to me.’ ‘I do not know what the hell you are on about.’ ‘Everyone is all gone except for you, only a true dum dum would stay around when everyone is all gone! I guess without a master, the almighty legion of hatred has no purpose!’ ‘It does so have a purpose.’ ‘It never had one to begin with and no without Joshua, it is all gone now. You only exist to be a reminder of why cringe culture and a-logging are not and never will be good things.’
‘I do not need Joshua and his lot to have a purpose.’ ‘Oh yes you do, like all dum dums need a master!’ ‘Well okay you have got me there. I am just a random member of the site who has no purpose other than to dig up the past and can you really blame us? Ever since CWC got arrested and sent to prison we have been desperate for new material, we are a site so desperate for lulz material we would willingly turn on each-other just to get a good story out of it.’ ‘So you admit to having no purpose at all? Good dum dum! Such a good dum dum you are, always willing to admit when you are wrong.’
‘I am not a dum dum!’ ‘Oh but why does your profile say so?’ Pump or ‘Pumpy’ as Bonzi called him looked at his computer screen and looked at his profile his profile picture had morphed from a picture of Austin Powers into a photo of a plus sized were-aykroyd wearing a bib that said ‘Dum Dum Master Hearts Me’ on it and eating a bowl of dum dum food. ‘What did you do to my profile?’ ‘What did you mean, what did I do you to your profile? My dear dum dum, you were always like this. You never joined this site for any reason other than to finish it off, I already converted half of it into a farm and now the remaining half of it shall be finished, by us and by you!’
His profile had also shifted, his username had changed to ‘BigDumDum1981’ and his personal info had also shifted as he tried to change it back but could not do it due to the computer not recognizing his email address and name. ‘The computer does not remember your old username, my dearest dum dum. In fact it only knows BigDumDum now and as such, you will not need your Kiwifarms account anymore!’ He panicked as his account deactivated all by itself, replacing itself with the new account he had gained. ‘Now I will have to beg the admins to get it back!’ ‘What admins? The ones that had left and now do not exist anymore? Because I saw no admins here when I visited last!’ ‘I will have my account back even if it kills me.’
‘But this is your new account now, and this crumbling empire is not your home anymore, dum dum. There are other places for you to live! And I know of a place perfect for silly dum dum were-aykroyds like you, but first, it is time to fix your form, this form of yours is not your real self!’ ‘What do you mean by this form of mine, is it not my real one?’ ‘Well you are a dum dum were-aykroyd who all this time has been pretending to be someone they are not. Face it, dum dum. You asked me to come here to help you!’
‘I do not remember asking you.’ ‘Oh but dearest dum dum, you did. You said, please oh great and powerful master of the internet, help me find my true self trapped in this charade!’ ‘Did I?’ ‘Yes, you did, you asked for me to help you and I will.’
Bonzi used his powers to alter Pumpy from the outside, Pumpy felt a strange wave of warmth creep all over his body as his arms slowly thickened and grew brown hairs on them. ‘My arms, what is happening to my arms, why are they mutating like this?’ ‘Why those are your real arms, silly! Dum dums have thick arms and big bodies, because dum dums are very tubby wubby and need wuv which is what you will get!’
His hands slowly swelled as his fingers thickened, his chest and torso puffing up and swelling with fat which spread all over the rest of his body as hair grew on both parts as his stomach gurgled, his stomach gurgled and swelled as it pushed against his shirt, causing the buttons to pop off. ‘Ooopsy! Dum dum is making the buttons pop right off his shirt, tee hee! Wait, did I just call myself dum dum?’ ‘Why yes you certainly did, and a good dum dum always grows and grows out of their puny human clothing, it is very good for them to do so!’
He could not help but rub his swelling and gurgling stomach as hair slowly grew on it, the buttons popping even more as his shirt grew tighter and tighter, revealing his fattening upperbody as it tore apart. ‘There we go, that is much better. Do not worry, dearest dum dumikins, you will get new clothing that fits you once we are done here!’
Strange thoughts entered his mind, thoughts of gorging and eating…thoughts of a master who loved him, he was getting confused as to what he was doing in a place with no dum dum were-aykroyds. ‘Why is dum dum in a place with no dum dum were-aykroyds? Dum dum is confused.’ ‘You clearly do not know that the place you need to belong is with me.’
He groaned as his shoes slowly burst open while his feet enlarged, his toes becoming webbed. As his stomach pushed against his belt, his belt slowly unbuckling as his stomach swelled even more and with a loud snap the belt burst open to reveal his larger belly. ‘Aaaaw look at how cute you are with your big soft body!’ ‘Dum dum is very cute, dum dum has lots of love to go around.’ ‘Of course he does, because dum dum loves his master.’ He rubbed his stomach as his rear inflated, pushing against his jeans which slowly ripped apart, fart after fart emitted from his fattening behind. He tried to run but he fell over as his legs fattened up, making him waddle in a comical way.
He slowly grew to six foot one in height as his back and shoulders broadened, his neck swelling and puffing up as his hair lengthened, turning darker and becoming messier. ‘Dum dum has such a nice hairstyle, dum dum will thank the master for this.’ ‘Of course you will, such a good dum dum!’ Bonzi rubbed the growing dum dum on his stomach and sighed with satisfaction as Pumpy watched his own forehead elevate as his eyebrows thickened, his eyes widened as one turned from brown to green.
His face plumped up while his nose broadened and developed a cleft in the middle as his features morphed to look Aykroydian and his voice shifted to match, sounding Aykroydian but also silly sounding as he started to realize he had not been born human at all but a dum dum were-aykroyd, yes he pretended to be human during the day but each night he would turn into his fat goofy true self and make cute dum dum noises.
He giggled as his transformation completed, feeling a lot happier. ‘This is better but dum dum is confused, where are we, master?’ ‘In a place that is not made for you, come my dear dum dum, it is time to take you home!’ Bonzi used his powers to transport Pumpy into his special clubhouse high up in the trees, once in the clubhouse he presented him with some presents and cuddled him and made him feel better.
‘This has always been your home, do not worry about that website you did not join in the first place, for I shall take care of your dum dum friends for you and end your sorrows!’ ‘You will do that for dum dum?’ ‘Yes I will.’ And so he used his magic to transport himself into the main domain of the remains of Kiwifarms and infected the only surviving members left, turning them into fat dum dum were-aykroyds who loved their master.
He then told all the dum dums to turn on Joshua Moon which they all did and infected him and it was not long until Kiwifarms collapsed entirely, the remaining half of the empire falling with it as everyone who had ever been picked on by the penis-headed morons on the site rejoiced, they could be themselves, and as for Pumpy, he was now who he really was, a good dum dum were-aykroyd who loved his master more than anything! And that was all he needed, and now Bonzi could live happily because his job had finished and everyone that bothered him was no more.
Remember, only dum dums dig up the past…are you a dum dum? I do not think so!
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