An Old Man’s Solution

There was an older man that was married to a much younger woman, and he was having trouble lasting long enough in bed. So, he went to the doctor and was told he should please himself before having sex and he would last longer.

One day as 5 o'clock rolls around, he gets a call from his wife who says she's very horny. On his way home, he remembers what the doctor said and decides to relieve himself before he gets home.

He thinks, "Well, I can't do it in the car, but if I get under it I can pretend I'm fixing my car." So he gets under the car, closes his eyes, and starts pleasuring himself. A few minutes later, there's a tug at his pants leg. In order to keep the image of his beautiful wife, he doesn't open his eyes, but just hollers, "Yeah?"

A voice says, "I'm Officer Brown. What are you doing down there?"

The man responds, "Well, officer, I'm checking my axle; I think it's come loose."

The officer says, "Well, mister, while you're down there, you might wanna check your brakes; your car's 2 blocks down the road!’