Ignorance is bliss

I was obsessed with total-enclosure bondage, and took advantage of my wife's good nature, as I became a "house husband" while she made good money as an office manager. Particularly horny one day, I gave in to my worst impulses, and mailed the keys to my rubber bag, to myself, knowing it would be in my mailbox the next day, through local delivery. Then I tied the bag round my neck, bringing the zippered opening right over my mouth, and the two tiny air-holes in place right over my nostrils, before pulling the two zippers together, at belly level, one up, one down, and clicking a small but strong brass padlock in place, through both metal zipper-tags, trapping myself in the bag, until the keys came through the mail-slot in the door, for my wife to recover and put to use, the following day.
Proud of my ingenuity, I relaxed, and began a lengthy, lazy wank, keeping me occupied until Helen got in from work, at 5.30 or so. Nodded off at some point.
Woke with a slap to my rubber-sheathed head, and Helen saying "Allright shit-for-brains - I need you out of there now! My mother's coming for a visit, and you need to clean up and help me with some chores...where did you leave the keys?"
"Uh, problem, honey...hormones got the better of me, and I mailed them to myself - they won't get here until tomorrow...sorry...I didn't know you had plans..."
Another slap, then another, with rising anger, I could tell...
"You fucking idiot! Don't you watch the News, ever? The Post Office - the Royal Mail, if you like, just went on STRIKE!!! The dispute is not likely to settle for at least two weeks, by the sound of things! There will be NO delivery tomorrow - or the next day, or the next! God knows how many days, in actuality! And, given the crazy amount of OUR money you spent on that stupid bag, without even discussing it with me - I'm not cutting you out, just so you can go order another one! I'll tell my mother you're sick, in bed...she never liked you anyway - told me I was making a big mistake...I should have listened to her! Fuuuuuck! You are such a damn fool! Well, it's going to be a very long week or two for you - I'll see you don't starve, or die of dehydration...you can wank yourself to DEATH while I'm at work...I don't see much else in the way of entertainment for you! Now I got to persuade Mum to make it a brief visit, and she's going to wonder why, since we always told her she could stay as long as she wanted, up until now!"
She slammed out of the bedroom, and busied herself making the meal I should have had ready for her...she spoon-fed me through the open zipper, plus some orange juice, then said she had to clean up and shift stuff around, all of which I should have been doing for her...when she came to bed, exhausted, she rolled away from me, and slept.
When her mother arrived the next day, I heard their voices, getting more and more heated, followed by Helen's departure for work.
I was shocked when her loud, pushy, rude super-bitch of a mother came into the room, and began laughing herself into a coughing fit. "Oh that's brilliant! I didn't believe her at first...but in the circumstances you're going to need a baby-sitter, and I seem to be it!" She sat on the edge of the bed, and patted the pyramid at my crotch, almost a slap, really. "Men!" she sighed in disgust. "What a bunch of fucking idiots! I WILL see you don't die in there, but I can't guarantee you won't wish for death, before this is over! We won't tell Helen, but I think I'm going to avail myself of that generous cock she says you boast about so much...let me just....There!" My engorged package burst out of the open zipper, which she immediately re-tightened round my roots, making withdrawal back into the relative safety of the rubber bag, impossible.
"I'm impressed...Now let's see if you know what to do with it! Helen says you do, but I'm not easily impressed! Fair warning, fool - if I'm not satisfied, things could get really nasty for you, as the days turn into weeks! So you better put some effort into things!"