Fixing the fanboy

It is time for storytime with Bonzi and today I have a story that really puts the dum in fandom and that story is a dum dum one because the protagonist is so very dumb! Once upon a millenia in the land of the internet there was a nasty repulsive little trollop who was named Jacob the Transfur Fanboy and he acted like people with different opinions were mentally ill and he was a simp for Puro from Changed. Despite the fact people were sick of him trying to defend Changed he acted like it was the best game in the world (which it was not, it was just overrated fetish crap made by the furry equivalent of Dan Schneider).

So much so his arrogant attempts at defending it often failed (nobody took his crybaby behavior seriously because crying got him nowhere but in trouble!) and he got laughed at (because this is not someone who should be felt bad for, laugh at him, for he is a moron!) and one day he made the stupidest comment of all stupid comments. ‘You give comments sections a bad name even though I am just proving my point by making mean comments to act as the obvious villain of this piece!’ ‘Well of course you are proving your point, all you fanboys are the same no matter what fandom. Look if you think I am being mean or giving comments sections a bad name - look in the mirror, because that is you, you are the monster.’

Jacob threw tantrum after tantrum, demanding that whoever insulted his opinion over his favorite ‘beloved’ (but not really because Changed has a fanbase consisting of horny furry impostors who think that Puro is husbando material and they are stupid as hell!) game, when he evoked the wrath of a certain being.

“You have said some dum dum things, now prepare to be punished.”

As he was about to send another insulting comment, purple smoke emitted from his computer screen, taking on the form of an anthropomorphic purple gorilla wearing a snazzy suit and hat. ‘Looks like we have another little dum dum here, time for me to straighten this guy out.’ ‘Woah, it is true, you do exist.’ ‘Of course, I am Bonzi, lord and master of the internet. And I have come to teach you a lesson in how not to interact with others.’ ‘I do not need this.’ ‘Oh yes you do, saying that people who do not give nice comments give the comments section a bad name, for shame.’

He used his magic to show Jacob what he can do, as he used it on his computer, causing the computer to self delete every single piece of Changed fanart that had ever been saved on there. ‘There, much better! That game is fetishistic garbage anyway.’ ‘I want my Puro fanart back, please.’ ‘Now why would you idolize this disgusting abomination and treat him like he is husbando material?’ ‘Because he is?’ ‘Wrong answer.’

Jacob attempted to get his fan-art pictures back but before he could do anything, new art pictures turned up on his online accounts that featured plus sized were-aykroyd dum dums eating food and cuddling with their masters. ‘What the heck did you do to my artwork?’ ‘Oh I am just showing you your true self. You do not really like Changed, do you? Of course not, that game is not for dum dums.’

‘What did you say I am?’ ‘A dum dum, you are a dum dum were-aykroyd. You never were a human. Let us be perfectly honest here, Changed was never your thing. You were just saying you liked it because you were lonely and as a dum dum were-aykroyd, a female one at that…you needed a fate less embarrassing than being a single were-aykroyd dum dum, and hey Puro was the only thing available so you picked him.’

‘That is not true.’ As much as he tried to protest these words, these words wormed into his head and triggered a new set of ‘memories’ to form, the words ‘dum dum’ making him think that maybe he was not really a human anyway. He felt a warm feeling from within which caused a transformation to occur. ‘I am feeling warm all of a sudden.’

He found himself slowly growing and gaining weight as brownish hairs as his arms broadened and swelled, his hands swelling while his fingers thickened and his fingernails lengthened. ‘Oooh dum dum has the prettiest nails!’ ‘Oh yes you do, and every part of you is very pretty.’ His Puro t shirt (which he claimed he got from Amazon but really was just a cheap one he got from Temu because no real store would have merchandise from that game in it) slowly strained as his belly inflated and he could not help rub it over and over.

‘Oooh does dum dum like her belly?’ ‘Oh yes I do.’ ‘See? You do not need Puro or Dr K to satisfy your needs, you only need me!’ (which was true, because to this growing dum dum were-aykroyd had no interest in either of them, Puro had commitment issues and was a bipolar psycho and Dr K was a toxic gatekeeping creep!), he could not help but giggle as his chest and torso slowly inflated with fat, growing hairs as a pair of round formations developed on the former..starting to tear through his shirt and fill up with milk. Milk from his growing dum dum melons spread onto his ripping shirt. ‘Oopsy, dum dum make mess.’ ‘That is alright, dum dums are supposed to do that.’

“Oh master, dum dum likes it.”

“Of course she does, she cares for her master a lot.”

“And I love everything you do, master.”

His shirt slowly ripped apart as his belly enlarged further and pushed against his belt before breaking it open, his rear inflating as he began to produce constant farts and he found himself losing his manhood as it retracted and morphed into the more feminine variant, his shoes ripped open to reveal his larger feet which shifted to have webbed toes. ‘Oopsy, shoes go pop!’ ‘Why of course they did, look at how big they have gotten.’

A karen wanna-be named SissyLadyMariene came up to Bonzi and screamed…’Leave that innocent person alone, you kinkshaming incel! And I am only saying this because I am a villain in this fic and have no redeeming characteristics and only state the obvious.’ ‘You sissyification types make me sick, I mean when male artists do it it is one thing but when female artists do it, that is beyond hypocritical. How dare you be sexist towards your own gender by doing art like that! Do you think putting strong female characters in maid outfits or making them act overly motherly is sexy? Well then, since you like moms so much, how would you like to be one?’

Mariene attempted to attack Bonzi only to find herself becoming violently ill as her stomach gurgled as it swelled and swelled, a mini were-aykroyd dum dum spawn was forming inside it as her stomach swelled even further to the point of becoming pregnant with the were-aykroyd. The dum dum spawn erupted out of her stomach in a violent manner as she gained more and more weight, bursting out of that ugly fairy dress she was wearing (which was an improvement because have you seen those sissyification pictures with the garish poorly designed dress? It is like the author thinks that is what clothing for girls looks like even though they have just been in that section one too many times!) but she did not mind. Bonzi smacked her butt a multitude of times and laughed as she produced fart after fart. ‘Tee hee, dum dum make oopsies.’ ‘Yes, you did and you look so silly. I am such a fun and cuddly dumikins.’ ‘Oh yes, such a good girl.’ She immediately found herself thinking more and more like a dum dum (and on top of that she forgot why she even called Bonzi an incel to begin with, she forgot everything she said before her transformation and just giggled because she was such a dum dum, and yeah this is what the author thinks of bimbofication, suck it up, assholes!) and that it felt good to let go of her old personality (if she could ever call it on one, since she did not remember being into sissification. And why would she? It was a harmful and stupid fetish that portrayed females as anything but smart and she did not like that, she only liked were-aykroyd content now and that was it!)

“Now are you sorry?”

“Yes, master. Dum dum did not know what was wrong with herself.”

Jacob slowly grew to six foot one as his shoulders broadened and his back followed suit, his face swelled as his neck thickened..giving him a double chin as his hair lengthened, turning darker. His eyes widened as one turned from brown to green, eyelashes blossoming around them as his nose broadened and developed a cleft and his features became Aykroydian and feminine, he blushed as he looked at himself.

His pants slowly tore apart leaving him in his shorts as he examined himself, another character tried to call out Bonzi and told him to get therapy only for Bonzi to turn him into a female dum dum were-aykroyd as well. Jacob found himself speaking in an Aykroydian but feminine voice as his mind shifted a little more, his memories now fully those of his ‘true’ self.

He did not remember anything prior and he only thought that he or rather ‘she’ had one purpose…to find a dum dum were-aykroyd master who could also be her husband who would love her and treat her equally, she had forgotten all about Puro and Dr K and Changed. And it was a good thing she forgot because she did not even remember having a thing for transfurs, in fact she had always been told that transfurs were not all reliable and that Puro was always more fixated on Collin than he was with her (which was true, all Puro ever cared about was Collin, he had infidelity issues and did not care for anyone besides him, he was too clingy and not her type!).

Her personality rewired into that of a dum dum were-aykroyd, a female dum dum were-aykroyd who wanted to have a dum dum who loved her equally. She made goofy were-aykroyd dum dum noises as a male were-aykroyd materialized next to her and she immediately hit it off with him. ‘It makes sense for dum dum now, dum dum does not need Puro, Puro no good for dum dum. Dum dum knew Puro only cares about Collin, dum dum has a boyfriend now and she loves him. And she loves you!’

The two developed a mutual infatuation with each-other and in no time at all found themselves becoming the best of lovers, they went on many dates together and even bonded together over having masters who wanted the best for them, no longer was she in need of someone to love her for who she was. ‘Dum dum loves you.’ ‘And I heart you too, my big dumpling with two lovely spring rolls!’

She could not help but giggle at those adorable terms of endearment as she and her new lover walked off together, she wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. ‘Ah, what a happy couple.’ Bonzi used his magic to transport Mariene to the home of another male dum dum were-aykroyd, who took her in and dated her for several months.

Which only left one dum dum left…that dum dum were-aykroyd that acted like Bonzi needed therapy, he or rather ‘she’ now did not remember such things and only remembered how happy she felt, and she was transported by Bonzi to a palace where she was taken care of by a royal dum dum were-aykroyd who taught her of her true origins and powers.

‘There we go, all is better with the world. May this be a lesson to you, do not act like the way these people did, because if you do I am coming for you!’ Bonzi used his magic to transport himself back to his headquarters where he told his companions about what a good job he had done.

All three of them had been sorted out and Bonzi could take pride in his hard work, helping people who were lost in terms of their identity was his speciality (and he was damn good at it!) and he could officially say he was proud of his line of work.

Where are these were-aykroyd dum dums now you ask…well Jacob or Jacquelyn as she is now called is married and is a mother to several plus sized were-aykroyd children (and still has another one on the way!), Mariene has a whole new Deviantart account dedicated to dum dum were-aykroyd content, she does not call people with different tastes than her incels anymore (it was not like she did not it to begin with, like why would she? She was more respectful to people of her own gender now and she did not like sissyification, she never did, that was stupid, but not as stupid as when she pretended to like it, yes, that mean spirited sissyification obsessed persona was an act!) and she was very nice to everyone, even if they did not love her for her own personality. And now she knows how hard women work and they were equal to men in a lot of ways, she grew beyond her fake sissyification obsessed personality.

As for the other one she discovered that it was okay for others to have different opinions and different opinions did not mean that person had mental illnesses of any kind and she was now extremely happy with her dum dum husband who loved her, and it was not long until they got married. And she became pregnant with lots and lots of were-aykroyd off-spring and now she too had the life she always dreamed of.

And thus Bonzi smiled as his mission was done and he had fixed every single troublemaker on the internet by helping them discover their identities, but of course he continued working! And thus also brings us to the lesson of the day which is do not act like a dum dum when others have different opinions and tastes than your own, or you shall be a dum dum for real and you will have no choice but to like it!