A real dick
of
imornery81
genre
funny
Something told me it was time to get up. I did not want to. I was warm and comfortable in the dark, all curled up and nestled into my special place to rest. Why couldn’t they all just leave me the fuck alone?!?! I did my best to ignore them. I really did not care if they thought I was a Dick. All I really wanted to do was rest!
It was no use. I opened my eye and looked around. It was still dark, but I knew it would not be for much longer. The voices around me were growing more insistent. The demands for someone to get me up and moving were not going to go away. Slowly I began to unwind and stretch. It had felt nice just to be able to relax and hang out, but it was time once again.
I tried to stand erect, but it seemed as if every bone in me had melted and try as I may, getting upright seemed more of a challenge than ever! I shrugged my hoodie back and looked out. There did not seem to be much room to move, but then for a guy like me, there rarely is! I stretched again and came almost fully erect. As I yawned a single drop drooled out and ran over the smooth flesh and fell onto my hood. “It happens,” I thought to myself and went on.
Suddenly there was light everywhere and I felt a hand rudely grab me and jerk me upright! I looked around, feeling my pulse pound within me. “What is going on?” I tried to clear my head and figure out what was going on. Things seemed to be well in hand, but still. I bristled and seemed to swell in preparation to whatever threat was nearly upon me!
Mercilessly I was slammed down four or five times in a row! I was being slapped repeatedly against something! With each blow my head seemed to swell and thicken. I found it hard to think. I was reacting. I braced myself and stiffened my resolve to withstand the onslaught. I was fully awake and standing at full attention as I surveyed the field before me for possible threats.
The guys who hang closest with me, I guess you might think of them as my buddies, scooted closer to me. Most of the time I think of them as nuts, but at that moment I did not blame them for drawing into a tighter defensive perimeter. I mean, even the asshole behind us seemed to be panting and working to tighten up his defenses as well!
I was moving forward. I was not certain, but my eye seemed to land on a fold in the terrain beneath me that seemed, … unique. There was something about the moist entrance that seemed to draw me in. I was careful to keep my eye out as I descended through a tangle of thin brush that was growing around the entrance. I made damn certain that none of it snagged on my helmet or worked under the rim of it. I did not want anything to impede any rapid thrust or withdrawal that the unknown future might require.
Everyone took up their positions. Cautiously I examined the crevices that surrounded the entrance. I wanted to make certain that no giant crabs or other threats waiting to attack me. Finding none, I made the commitment and pushed aside the barrier to the entrance. It really offered little resistance and almost immediately I was in a vestibule of sorts. It was dark and there was an intense moist heat and a smell that I will never forget. It was not disgusting, and in fact there was something familiar and inviting to it, but ..nevertheless it was foreign to me and I was rigid with tension and every bit of my flesh was alive with anticipation.
The only way forward was through a tiny passage that looked far too small for me to wedge myself into. Still I had to find the source of this unknown atmosphere! Going in head first, I pushed in inch by inch. The walls around me almost seemed alive! They yielded to me as I drilled deeper in the increasingly wet darkness. And yet as I pushed forward, the walls seemed to tighten right back around me almost as if it was conforming around me in the shaft that I was exploring.
While maintaining a base of operations just outside the opening, the two others guarding my exit, I eased my way forward until going forward any further would mean being cut off. Coincidentally, I had just managed to push deep enough in to see an odd triangular shaped type of space. Peering into the dark I could see pink and red fibrous growths extending all around me and what looked to be possibly another entrance to another passage on just the other side of the triangle.
Pulling back I then thrust myself in further in an effort to lay claim to the far passage and possibly ascertain what lay beyond. I pounded myself into the wet darkness over and over again, feeling the moisture that seemed almost to boil out of the walls around me and pool against my underside. It was not unpleasant and in fact made my repeated vain attempts to achieve a deeper purchase easier. Once every so often I was just able to brush the top of my helmet covered head into the obstruction but only for a moment before sliding back
I felt the earthquake begin. It was only a small vibration at first and then it quickly intensified! Being locked inside of the trembling quaking passage, there was no escape. My innermost parts were twisting turning and threatening to spew out everything that was inside of me! The exertion followed by the fear and now the threatening rise of some unseen reservoir flooding the chamber had me worked up. I was lodged the unseen depths that were quaking and threatening to keep me forever! I had to struggle to keep what was in me right where it was.
I withdrew and then slipped and slammed myself in deeper and harder than before. Over and over again I would nearly withdraw only to inexplicably find myself slamming all of the way into the core of her. The nausea was over taking me and my friends back just outside the entrance squeezed up as close as possible to offer any assistance to me that they could.
Just like that, I felt myself falling back into her depths after one last failed attempt at extricating myself from the boiling cauldron of superheated fluids pooled beneath me. I could not think! All I could do was feel the throbbing need to escape and then it happened. In a single instant, everything exploded. Convulsing I began to spit and hurl all of the contents of what was within me all over the rumbling, groaning and shaking walls of the pink hot grotto. Over and over again I launched my innards all over the far wall in an almost projectile sort of manner! I looked and I thought surely everything that had ever been in me was all splattered over that far wall, much of it seeming to seep into the passage that lay just out of my ability to explore.
I twitched in response to every movement of the passage around me, uncertain if I had even the strength to withdraw. Nearly drowning in the pooled liquids that was so close to where I found myself lying exhausted and spent. I considered just staying there forever.
I felt the tug first. The cavern did not want to yield to me, but my friends were persistent. They pulled again and I slipped out an inch, then some more. I finally slipped free into the failing light of dusk. I just lay there a sopping wet mess, completely limp and spent. My friends seemed also to have given their all as they each rolled away and relaxed. I think they were relieved to see me again.
Opening my one eye I saw the cascade of thick white liquid flood out of the deep cavern I had been so close to. It was salty and sweet and tempting. For a moment I thought about going back in again and in my younger days I may have. Instead, I just relaxed, smiled, curled up and went to sl**p.
It was no use. I opened my eye and looked around. It was still dark, but I knew it would not be for much longer. The voices around me were growing more insistent. The demands for someone to get me up and moving were not going to go away. Slowly I began to unwind and stretch. It had felt nice just to be able to relax and hang out, but it was time once again.
I tried to stand erect, but it seemed as if every bone in me had melted and try as I may, getting upright seemed more of a challenge than ever! I shrugged my hoodie back and looked out. There did not seem to be much room to move, but then for a guy like me, there rarely is! I stretched again and came almost fully erect. As I yawned a single drop drooled out and ran over the smooth flesh and fell onto my hood. “It happens,” I thought to myself and went on.
Suddenly there was light everywhere and I felt a hand rudely grab me and jerk me upright! I looked around, feeling my pulse pound within me. “What is going on?” I tried to clear my head and figure out what was going on. Things seemed to be well in hand, but still. I bristled and seemed to swell in preparation to whatever threat was nearly upon me!
Mercilessly I was slammed down four or five times in a row! I was being slapped repeatedly against something! With each blow my head seemed to swell and thicken. I found it hard to think. I was reacting. I braced myself and stiffened my resolve to withstand the onslaught. I was fully awake and standing at full attention as I surveyed the field before me for possible threats.
The guys who hang closest with me, I guess you might think of them as my buddies, scooted closer to me. Most of the time I think of them as nuts, but at that moment I did not blame them for drawing into a tighter defensive perimeter. I mean, even the asshole behind us seemed to be panting and working to tighten up his defenses as well!
I was moving forward. I was not certain, but my eye seemed to land on a fold in the terrain beneath me that seemed, … unique. There was something about the moist entrance that seemed to draw me in. I was careful to keep my eye out as I descended through a tangle of thin brush that was growing around the entrance. I made damn certain that none of it snagged on my helmet or worked under the rim of it. I did not want anything to impede any rapid thrust or withdrawal that the unknown future might require.
Everyone took up their positions. Cautiously I examined the crevices that surrounded the entrance. I wanted to make certain that no giant crabs or other threats waiting to attack me. Finding none, I made the commitment and pushed aside the barrier to the entrance. It really offered little resistance and almost immediately I was in a vestibule of sorts. It was dark and there was an intense moist heat and a smell that I will never forget. It was not disgusting, and in fact there was something familiar and inviting to it, but ..nevertheless it was foreign to me and I was rigid with tension and every bit of my flesh was alive with anticipation.
The only way forward was through a tiny passage that looked far too small for me to wedge myself into. Still I had to find the source of this unknown atmosphere! Going in head first, I pushed in inch by inch. The walls around me almost seemed alive! They yielded to me as I drilled deeper in the increasingly wet darkness. And yet as I pushed forward, the walls seemed to tighten right back around me almost as if it was conforming around me in the shaft that I was exploring.
While maintaining a base of operations just outside the opening, the two others guarding my exit, I eased my way forward until going forward any further would mean being cut off. Coincidentally, I had just managed to push deep enough in to see an odd triangular shaped type of space. Peering into the dark I could see pink and red fibrous growths extending all around me and what looked to be possibly another entrance to another passage on just the other side of the triangle.
Pulling back I then thrust myself in further in an effort to lay claim to the far passage and possibly ascertain what lay beyond. I pounded myself into the wet darkness over and over again, feeling the moisture that seemed almost to boil out of the walls around me and pool against my underside. It was not unpleasant and in fact made my repeated vain attempts to achieve a deeper purchase easier. Once every so often I was just able to brush the top of my helmet covered head into the obstruction but only for a moment before sliding back
I felt the earthquake begin. It was only a small vibration at first and then it quickly intensified! Being locked inside of the trembling quaking passage, there was no escape. My innermost parts were twisting turning and threatening to spew out everything that was inside of me! The exertion followed by the fear and now the threatening rise of some unseen reservoir flooding the chamber had me worked up. I was lodged the unseen depths that were quaking and threatening to keep me forever! I had to struggle to keep what was in me right where it was.
I withdrew and then slipped and slammed myself in deeper and harder than before. Over and over again I would nearly withdraw only to inexplicably find myself slamming all of the way into the core of her. The nausea was over taking me and my friends back just outside the entrance squeezed up as close as possible to offer any assistance to me that they could.
Just like that, I felt myself falling back into her depths after one last failed attempt at extricating myself from the boiling cauldron of superheated fluids pooled beneath me. I could not think! All I could do was feel the throbbing need to escape and then it happened. In a single instant, everything exploded. Convulsing I began to spit and hurl all of the contents of what was within me all over the rumbling, groaning and shaking walls of the pink hot grotto. Over and over again I launched my innards all over the far wall in an almost projectile sort of manner! I looked and I thought surely everything that had ever been in me was all splattered over that far wall, much of it seeming to seep into the passage that lay just out of my ability to explore.
I twitched in response to every movement of the passage around me, uncertain if I had even the strength to withdraw. Nearly drowning in the pooled liquids that was so close to where I found myself lying exhausted and spent. I considered just staying there forever.
I felt the tug first. The cavern did not want to yield to me, but my friends were persistent. They pulled again and I slipped out an inch, then some more. I finally slipped free into the failing light of dusk. I just lay there a sopping wet mess, completely limp and spent. My friends seemed also to have given their all as they each rolled away and relaxed. I think they were relieved to see me again.
Opening my one eye I saw the cascade of thick white liquid flood out of the deep cavern I had been so close to. It was salty and sweet and tempting. For a moment I thought about going back in again and in my younger days I may have. Instead, I just relaxed, smiled, curled up and went to sl**p.
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