Wanting to get fucked

I'm usually a pretty conservative woman. I never dress provocatively or act like I'm in heat.
I just don't.

But, with that being said. I'm also a woman and I need fucked on occasions and sense my divorce I don't get it near as much as I want.
That is partly my fault because of my stand offish attitude and I'm a bigger girl.

5'5" and 175 pounds of bigger girl.

I know that if I'd change my attitude just a bit I could get fucked a hole lot easier. But, I'm not going to.

That is also part of why divorced is my constant bitch attitude. My husband just got tired of it and couldn't take no more of it.
But, I didn't care. I dwelled on it so much there was no turning back.
I did all the damage I could and enjoyed of every minute of it.
I was even that way in bed. I would make it as uncomfortable for him as I could only making me more and more hornier.
I thrived on it to get me off.
And the more I thrived on it, the harder i got off.
I got to the point where I did everything in my power to make sure he couldn't get a nut while I was flowing buckets.
Finally he just quit.
That pissed me off more that he wouldn't even try to fuck me and I turned into superbitch.

I just didn't think he would ever do anything about the way I acted.
Well, I was wrong.
Basically he just quit having anything to do with me.
I'm nothing. No matter what I tried to pull. He just ignored me unless he had to talk to me.
So I divorced his ass thinking about how good I was gonna come out.
Well, that didn't happen either. He wasn't near as dumb as I assumed he was.
But, what us done is done.
He won't take me back and I change the things I did.


So hear I am forty-two years old trying the dating game all over again.
It's not easy either.

I've been on a few dates. But, nothing that exciting and all but one ended early.
That was going good I thought. I even invited him back to my place.
One thing led to another. Which I was wanting to happen.
But, it didn't turn out like I planned.

What I was planning was for him to fuck me anyway he wanted. I had even told myself if wanted to poke me in the ass I was gonna let him.

But, it never happened. I sucked his dick like a hungry tiger chewing on a bone until he fed me his delicious ooze. Which I greedily swallowed all of it and that was it. He was done. I didn't even get a kiss good bye and he dropped me like the plague.

I even tried a woman. But, she had way to many divorce issues for me and that ended early also.

The only one that even gives me the time of day is my next door neighbor and he's only eighteen.
I know what he's after. Pussy and that's it.
I keep toying with the idea.
But, one thing that stops me is he is huge. I mean really huge and I'm afraid he will hurt me.
We have sextexted some. But, he is mainly interested in sticking that big dick of his up my ass while I set on his lap looking at him.

In truth I am scared of him.